Comm Planning

And so ended 2nd Comm planning... 2 heavy days of brainstorming, reflecting, visionizing (crap what's happening to my english) well just sharing some thougths about what i went through.

D reflection part was hard for me. I knew exactly what was holding me back from my serving. And I knew exactly what I need for me to be able to serve freely once again. But not once was I able to share out the whole truth... Talk about emotional roller coaster.. except this goes down forever and ever.. but then again, I hate roller coasters.. so up and down also tak suka HAHAHAHAHHAA...

Weekly meetings were discussed and brainstormed... As d afternoon went by I got slowly more excited as we came up with the names for our activities and sermons, regardless of that sorethroat (wan dai)
After 12 hours of duking it out in FES (minus 2 hours for lunch n dinner ha) we finally managed to settle our weekly meetings...

Balik chill awhile den tido. Supposed wake up around 8.30 (which I did) to call Abel they all for bfast... Killed my alarm and went straight back tido. Late for 2nd day. Emo dai. Damn pikchik with myself.
Blehh.........

Glad CG division went on without a hitch... Will type out everything in detail when I get back home (must put reminder)

Then came the major projects.. and the headache (literally).. As we come to our decisions and 'indecisions' in some cases... I just hope and pray for His guidance and providence.

That being said, there's a real need to fix my life. Lols... Fix this broken soul and mind and body Lord.. In your time and will. must discipline myself to read bible when i get home XD

Oh yea almost forgot. Washing feet during comm planning... Had to wash Abel mia... LOLs... Reminded me of the times in high school where we washed each others' feet. It was a humbling experience. This time it's a humbling reminder of Whose I am Whom I serve...

Praise be to the Lord in Heaven.

Blehhh...

Facing emotional turmoils every minute you've time to think for yourself every single day is NOT. FUN. Seriously man... i need help. zzZ... Can't even think straight... It's not like me to have suicidal thoughts... Haahahaha... At least I could put a rest to this sick mind soon enough... But meh. Too mainstream hahahahaha.. The battle shall continue..

6th May

Gloomiest Monday ever. Rained frm penang til KL til Seremban... It's like the sky is grieving for Malaysia too.. XD

Anyhow with elections over its time for Finals. That is, if i can sort my thoughts out...

Random thought: Malaysia has A LOT of flyovers... =.=...

Another random thought: I REALLY REALLY NEED someone to talk to. someone who'd understand me... Ps suggested a few. But i don't really know any of them. Once again.. so lonely...

Ps said i hang out too much with emo ppl... thats y i so emo. LOL... This response came after she asked who i hang out with most of d time.. I replied Scott.. Sam.. Edwin.. Jerome.. She laughed =.=...

Okay that's about it. Lepas Finals: WOT Marathon!!!

Thoughts...

Once again, i welcome you to take a walk in the park (or maybe its a maze/jungle, visualize as you like) of my mind... Nothing and several things have been happening of late... and it's tickled my mind enough to start mulling over them.

First of course is the upcoming elections in another 3 days. Damn its only 3 days away?! Honestly if you ask me for thoughts on the matter I do not really have an opinion. Its blatantly obvious some of the 'tricks' our current Gov is trying to pull throws human stupidity to a whole new level... But whoever stays in power after May the 5th, may God see fit to entrust that authority and leadership. That being said, I believe not in the party, but the person who is serving. Hence, should the local representative be from BN or PKR whatsoever, if he/she has proven their service for the people then I would cast my vote in favor of him/her. But seriously BN... just chill with the stuffs le.. damn imba u know.. why voting need to be so complicated. Why buat so much kacau? If you wanna win then be a GOOD government lah... whats up with all d corruption n stuffs? stress.. hahahaha..


2nd, thankful for this sem (my STUDIES, mind you)... Everything's over, now just the Finals to focus on. Thank God I din go MIA. Almost did tho. Stress.

3rd... apparently somethings have been going on around me of which i've no knowledge about. I don't know what's giving you that increasingly nasty attitude. But whatever it is, I can only hope it doesn't affect our friendship that much. Honestly its driving me up the wall.

4th... Learned a lesson in discretion today. Must learn to keep my mouth shut. Here's an advice tho: Should you ever compromise and terlanjur, please be honest; it keeps the damage to a minimum. But best is just shut up k? XD

5th... I miss joy. God given Joy like nothing else can bring... I miss that joy... =)

I shall turn in soon. Kena tarik by abel to do his IC tmr morning along with scott as well. Oh well.. Bros outing hahahahahahaha...


PS. I actually want to be that one annoying friend that everyone hates and loves at the same time. XD

Bangun la mangkuk

Be still my heart, and know that He is God. Not just any God, your God. Just wake up already...

Deterioration.

Forming a new mask for myself wherever I go. Asshole mask. Hahahahahaha. Dunno for what. Protect myself? Reflect what I'm really like inside? So people stay away? I don't care. Video project due Tuesday. Imma die.

Random thoughts...

Exhausted... Futsal without dinner was definitely not a good idea...

Was thinking about why people chase or long after happiness.. Indeed for some, sadness and pain becomes a steady companion even til death. And for some, regrets.

I've come to a point where I find it almost impossible to live in the victory of Christ. Where if I'm saved one more time, my God is the world's most unjust and unfair God. Haha stress.

2 days up in Camerons was bliss. Being with my peers once again... having the same though wavelengths.. Even though we don't talk often, I know i can lean on them somehow. My mind went elsewhere tho during that time. but i digress..

I'm hungry... and broke. Shall hunt for food... Hope besok boleh bangun for lunch with le CGLs =D

Thursday...

Today was a good day, regardless of the voices inside my head. Woke up at 6.30 today. Just as planned. HAHAHA...

Managed to settle assignment, final class of the sem, Final CG which was some awesum fun!!! We had Wok n Pan dinner, some arcade games... (can't believe i actually tried that kangkang dancing thingy) Daytona was epic.. and we LOST to the girls in Basketball!!! Can u believe this??? o.O Siao liao...

To end it we went makan Baskin Robbins at Dataran field there.. too bad it melted... spent too much time at arcade LOL...

Best CG i've ever had in awhile. we had to rush back cuz I almost forgot Sa's curfew >.<... Made it in time tho...XD

That's about it for now... I suppose some joy is needed once in awhile eh? XD

PS. Good day haven't end yet. XD

Tired?

Living everyday is just so tiresome.... Maybe if i just don't wake up tomorrow morning?

Aftermath..

Just back from an awesome trip with awesome people up cameron's... Jerome let me drive downhill.. Woots! XD

Besok labtest. not prepared..

Gonna sleep and study early tomorrow.
Thoughts for the day... It's getting very lonely here. So so lonely... Just so lonely.


On a side note... Apparently I'm a useless piece of crap which will always be a useless piece of crap.. Good to know! =D


Goodnight everyone. =)