Peace of mind...

It occurred to me that my frustrations for the past few days was purely emotional and mental desperation. I was looking for satisfaction... from God no less... due to the fact that i need to suppress these feelings of mine... that one day I may look back and say: "I'm glad I held myself back."

It's not easy. Felt like suffocating myself. =.=... Especially after BGR... lagi intense.

But I'm fine now.. so its time to blog! hahaha...


010110... Looks like some BCD code eh? But its not. It's my anniversary.. of a previous relationship. A day that I remember so clearly. Every detail. How beautiful she looked. How happy i was. How shy we both were. And the 2 years 5 months and 21 days after that... the Journey we went through.. the joys we went through together. trips to nilai. her trips down. the hours and hours of waiting and sitting through buses and trains just to spend time with each other.. hours and hours of talking and laughing on the phone/skype... listening to all of her stories... telling her about Gang Basikal.. ROC.. Scott.. Jerome.. Jon n Jeff.. Gunung Ledang.. Fraser's Hill.. January 29th.. Of course this is just the dreamy, happy side of things... i'd caused her pain as well... so much pain... that no amount of sincerest apologies can make up for. If my death could piece her broken heart back together... I'd die right now.
I'm sorry Yeng.


It's been almost 6 months now... She blocked me off FB hahaha.. Dunno why also.. But i guess it's best for both of us to cut off our ties... even the ties of being friends.. at least for now.. at least til her heart heals... I can only pray for her happiness.. that she finds real Joy... that she would eventually learn to live for herself... that eventually, she would find that real Happiness comes from Christ.. and from Him all good things flow.. I'd been the worst possible reflection of Him. I only hope you find happiness.. real happiness. =)


On a different note: I got a present to commemorate my baptism!!!! Thank you Eun, Josh, Foo, Angel n JaniceTeoKuching!!! so culture shocked.. Hahahahaha.. But so SO HAPPY!!!

But those who wait on the LORD

shall renew their strength.

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

As I read the verse... I was reminded of His greatness.. His mercy... His kindness... all that He is... 

It's time for me to rise again... to walk... to run... and to SOAR...

=)

Ps. If i don't blog as often anymore... blame them for getting me this journal k? XD 

Off to mission trip tmr.. Woots!! God Bless =)