Who am I?

Who am i? What do i want? What is my burden? I don't know myself anymore.. There's so much head knowledge.. so much knowledge I've wasted without applying them in life.. Knowledge of who God is.. knowledge of Maths and Physics.. of Managing my time.. of bringing the best out of everything i put my hands to work on.. I'm just wasting my life.. I know.. I loved my girlfriend.. i know... but i cheated.. why? i don't know.. i know its the ONE thing she cannot tahan. but why did i still do it? Why? I knew cheating was wrong.. why? all these useless knowledge. 

I'm full of hot air. I'm the thunder which can only be heard.. but there's no lightning to be seen.. I'm the footsteps that never reach the bottom of the stairs.. When will i wake up? when will i walk this world the way only i'm capable of? When when will i show all of my potential? I don't know... 

If u asked me.. Knowledge is power. I adore knowledge. I pursue wisdom. But I am only a fool in the end.. because I misuse my knowledge. A wise man knows when he is wrong, and strives to right his ways. A fool doesn't; even if he does he strives to maintain his wicked ways. In the end there is only destruction waiting for him. 

I wish someone would gimme a kick in d ass and shout BUCK UP.. hahaha.. But God has already opened the door. I've to walk through it... 

Don't stop moving Jian.