Memories...

In our 2 and a half years of relationship.. I'd only ever given her flowers ONCE.. Now I wish I'd given her more.. not like that'll change anything.. just one of my whims.

If only I'd not been so stupid. Heh.

I got her roses. Heh.

God is.

There's a past in us, that we can never change.
There's a hurt in us, that won't ever really fade.
There's darkness in us, that tries to take over day by day.
But there's a light in us, that gives us freedom, to live for the next day.

Change..

Have i really changed? Everyday i'm still back in my old habits. Wake up Jian. You can fool the world, but not yourself. Not God. WAKE UP...

On a different note, since i don't wanna sleep.. i can, i don't want to.. haha.. lets just rant a lil.. Be warned, i'm tired, extremely tired.. forgive me if you find my rant to be offensive. =)

Was talking to few people the past few days... cuz stress pasal my assgs.. i really thank God for them.. i guess there really are people who'd genuinely care bout my studies, my well being. Parents been calling almost everyday =.=.. stress cuz the ptptn stuffs i din do.. hahaha.. someone help me? i'm totally clueless haha..

Again, talking with people.. in this case Nanneri, somehow the question: Why am i still here popped up.. Indeed. i'd been here 5 years ad.. move on la hahaha.. i'd never asked myself this question before... Why'd i stay in CF? but i suppose i already have an answer in my heart..

is CF really that bad right now? I suppose it was worse.. but now? have things changed for better? or did we just THINK they did and somehow hope they'll be? sigh.. God.. why la ppl so hard to love each other? i also pikchik with some people haha.. i know the answer lah.. just sayin.. heh..

but yea.. everything so instant nowadays. relationships are also instant...
1st impression bad, shunned.. isolated.. piss off one person whole gang come and gang up on u.. looks like there're some things u just can't stamp out huh.. people are people so wat to do haha..

had supper with kaevin, prav n jerome.. interesting topic bout graduating late.. learn your lesson ad lahhhhhhhh....... you're 23 ad.. still want your parents to worry meh??? Your bro is in FRIGGIN UNI!!!!! GOSH. when you wanna wake up from this dreamworld? Study harder can mou? Lingli's even getting married.. lol. that awkward moment when the girl you went on your 1st date with is marrying someone else 4 years later... u damn big screw up la u.. after that u got yourself a wonderful girlfriend.. now look what happened? u just HAD to screw it up.. just HAD TO...

i really want to change.. but i'm just reverting back to the old self.. but i wanna move forward. draw strength from God eh? 1st i gotta make my heart right in God 1st. Keep walking jian.

I don't usually blog, but when I do...

This post is to thank God. For bringing me through this assg period time.. plus Choices launch and meetings.. plus CF.. plus church stuffs.. and now it's come to this.. FINALS...

This'll be my 1st real finals since 'then'.. no time to slack off. Time to mug!!!

Sunday

Sometimes, I'm too chill for my own good.. As Joel put it as he prayed for me this morning, "Lord help him to have the urgency to accomplish the things/tasks given to him..." (paraphrased)

It is a problem.. haha.. I'd bitten off more than I could chew this past few weeks.. just rushed finish TTV assg and presented the day after.. i have a good feeling about it though.. after that rush DB assg.. busy until din plan ppl's bday properly.. after that immediately CG.. and CG talent prac.. then futsal..

Next day is Merdeka. Overslpt. Cmon lah how many times u wanna kena ish..
Out whole day... Reach home at 3.30am.. Expendables 2 was awesome... not action awesome but laughing awesome... oh and Assassin's Creed FTW!!!!

Next day 10am CG Games planning. Then CG Talent.. thank God for my wonderful members... by the time i reached they were already left with 1 more movie.. haha.. after that had a break until 7pm.. which we practiced for launching... after that design cover photo n profile pic.. which should've been done one day ago.. *see what i mean?*

Today.. i'd gotten up at 7.15... but i still managed to fall aslp until Sam called. I was late, but not that late =P... Just got home.. i really need to get a move on my assg but i just wanna go slp XD



And so i shall... Signing off, Jian