God... I'm at a place where i don't know what to do.. I don't know... It's like someone just switched the SHUTDOWN button on me... I find trouble to even trust my own words... LOL..
It's been months since i started writing properly... and as i look back.. i see Your workmanship...
I see how You've bought me from losing everything again.. to where i am now. and once again it seems as if.... i've lost everything.
What've i done wrong Lord? Every step i take has a landmine hiding right underneath..
Can i not step out anymore? (I know i can't do that) Asking that's just too easy. I know i need to keep going... i just don't know where to go anymore. It's the last lap already. Why now? Why this?
It's eating me up inside, knowing of broken friendships but not knowing what to do or how to fix it.
Why can't people just tell me what i did wrong? am i THAT inapproachable??? Am i THAT unteachable???
There're no walls in order to know me. I am who i am, because of what i'd been through.. because of Your work in me. I'm just Zijian. Why isit that people whom i've known for years still mistrust me? Did i perceive our level of friendship wrongly? I might have.. but oh well...
I just wanna see people happy. Regardless of how i feel.
*something i'd inherited from her i guess*
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